A grainy reflection of Portland's skyline on the Willamette River

Are we in the Upside Down? | Photo by @palimpsest_of_v_vidal

The many alternate timelines of the multiverse.

This concept is a bottomless well for purveyors of pop culture, from the most convoluted episodes of “Doctor Who” to Academy Award-winning films like “Everything Everywhere All at Once.”

Does each minute decision we make generate different realities that branch until infinity? Physicists and philosophers alike have dedicated their entire lives to finding an answer to this perplexing question.

Inspired by the unknowable — and a typo that we make almost daily — we imagined a strange, misspelled world created by one errant stroke of the quill on our city’s founding charter.

It’s not really our thing, but we do have bad news. By reading this far, you took a wrong turn in the space-time continuum and landed in... “Porltand.”

What awaits us there isn’t entirely clear, but you can join us on this mad journey by playing along with our fill-in-the-blank word game.

Lace up your interdimensional boots and we’ll see you on the other side.

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND

QUESTION

What was the worst thing you ever bought? Why was it so bad?

Congratulations to Sarah M. for winning a $50 gift card to our online shop, Six & Main. Did you know you could be our next winner? Answer this week’s survey questions for a chance to score a gift card!

LET US KNOW HERE

EVENTS

Click here to have your event featured.

Monday, March 13

Mondays on the Mall – Jordan Sings | Monday, Mar. 13 | 12-1 p.m. | Nike, 638 SW Fifth Ave., Portland | Free | Start your week right with the soulful music of this local artist.
Jessamine Chan in Conversation With Sarah Marshall | Monday, Mar. 13 | 7 p.m. | Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W. Burnside St., Portland | Free | Hear from the author of “The School for Good Mothers,” a page-turner novel that explores concepts of parenting, state-run surveillance, and societal judgment.

Tuesday, March 14

Portland Winterhawks vs. Spokane Chiefs | Tuesday, Mar. 14 | 7 p.m. | Veterans Memorial Coliseum, 300 N. Winning Way, Portland | $26-$42 | Bring big boss energy to the ice and cheer on the hometown hockey heroes.
Open Mic Night | Tuesday, Mar. 14 | 8 p.m. | Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE Ninth Ave., Portland | $5 | Become an early adopter of all the next comedic talent to come out of Portland.

Wednesday, March 15

Ballet Hispánico | Wednesday, Mar. 15 | 7:30 p.m. | Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, Portland | $32-$75 | Spend an evening appreciating the beautiful choreography from Annabelle Lopez Ochoa, who will pay tribute to Eva Perón, the first lady of Argentina from 1946 to 1952.

Thursday, March 16

Small Batch Trivia | Thursday, Mar. 16 | 7-9 p.m. | Cascade Brewing, 939 SE Belmont St., Portland | Free | Geeks Who Drink hosts this casual, laid-back night that covers everything from Hungary to “The Hunger Games,” from science to sports, and the Billboard Hot 100 to “Better Call Saul.”
Carrie Underwood | Thursday, Mar. 16 | 7:30 p.m. | Moda Center, 1 N. Center Court St., Portland | $35-$156 | Portland, take the wheel, the country singing queen from Muskogee is in town on “The Denim & Rhinestones Tour.”

We have a calendar filled with events and activities you can plan for in advance. Click the button below to bookmark ideas for upcoming date nights, family outings, and time with friends.

MONDAY'S FOR MAKING MOVES

NEWS NOTES

Weather

50º | Rain | 100% chance of rain

Sunrise + Sunset

Rise: 7:26 a.m.
Set: 7:13 p.m.

Edu

Ann Cudd has been named Portland State University’s 11th president — the second woman to ever hold the role. Previously, she was the provost at University of Pittsburgh. When her tenure begins in August, her top priority is to “restore the university’s downtown campus vitality.” 🎓 (Portland Business Journal)

Real Estate

That old familiar feeling — the one you get when Portland house prices are on the rise — is back for the first time since May 2022. In February, the median sale price of metro area homes rose 4.8% from the previous month to $512,900. Still, that mark is 2.3% less than it was at the same time last year. 🏠 (KOIN)

Sports

Beaverton’s own comedian and Bigfoot hunter Ian Karmel shared his case files on the hairy cryptid ahead of the Trail Blazers’ upcoming Bigfoot Night, Tuesday, March 14. There were bulletin board cameos by Chris Kaman and Bill Walton, but one question remains: Will we get an appearance from the original mascot? 👣
The U.S. Association of Blind Athletes has selected 16 sport ambassadors for 2023. They will be role models within the community and share their personal experiences through outreach and advocacy. Among them is two-time Paralympic medalist and goalball world champion Eliana Mason, who is from Beaverton.

Listen

Have you heard of Growing Pains yet? The rock band, whose young members split their time between Eugene and Portland, is making waves on the local music scene with their latest five-song EP, “Thought I Heard Your Car,” and go-getter approach to the return of live music. 🎸 (Willamette Week)

Plan Ahead

The “Worst Day of the Year” is quickly approaching, and local cyclists couldn’t be happier. The annual bike ride, which sees thousands don their wackiest costume to pedal around Portland, will take place Sunday, March 19, no matter the elements. Registration is available for flat routes, or the “hillacious” challenge course. 🚴

Answered

We have two winners for our February news quiz. Staci M. and Brandee D. — you both scored a perfect 10/10. Let’s see if you can keep that streak going next month. 💯

Today Is

National Napping Day. Yup, the best day ever. Shop our favorite sleepytime picks for a cool and comfy snooze like this kooky-but-effective eye mask and this cutting-edge mattress topper with a water cooling system. 💤 *

DYK

Fun local fact: El nombre de Portland se decidió con un lanzamiento de moneda en 1845 (la otra opción era Boston). Find the translation of this fun fact in The Wrap at the bottom of our newsletter. *

Seasonal

To welcome the new season, our online store (Six & Main) is running a Spring Forward Contest. The winner + two friends will receive a prize from one of our coffee or tea brand partners. The contest is running now through Friday, March 24. Learn more on Instagram. 🌸

Content marked with an * is brought to you by our advertising partners and helps make this newsletter free.

JOB

Grow a career in the wine biz 🍇

A group of people stand in front of a vineyard on a sunny day

The 2022 class resulted in multiple job placements and relocations to Oregon. | Photo by Our Legacy Harvested

Tiquette Bramlett knows a thing or two about picking the right grapes — it comes with the territory of being the first Black woman hired to oversee a winery in the country. That intuition also comes in handy for her nonprofit, Our Legacy Harvested, which seeks to elevate, educate, and empower members of the BIPOC community in the wine industry.

At the forefront of that effort is the fall wine production internship program, which returns for a sophomore season, August-November 2023. There are six spots available to applicants across the country at any career level. Members of the selected “cru” will be placed at operations around the Willamette Valley’s renowned wine country, where they’ll gain hands-on experience on a variety of topics including:

Viticultural and harvest activities
Winemaking in the barrel room
Vineyard management (bottling, blending, testing ripeness, and more)
Plus field trips, social outings, and networking events

Applications are open now through Monday, May 1.

THE WRAP

DYK, translated: Portland’s name was decided by a coin toss in 1845 — the other option was Boston. Brush up on your Spanish skills with a subscription to Babbel (currently 60% off exclusively for PDXtoday readers now through Sunday, March 19). *

Today’s issue was written by Ben.

Editor’s pick: Here’s another fun fact for you — español era mi concentración menor en la universidad.

Es verdad, I minored in Spanish in college, but my reading and writing skills are much sharper than my comprehension and speaking abilities. Since I have a trip planned to Puerto Vallarta this summer, I should probably brush up.

Missed Friday’s newsletter? Hopefully, you remembered to change your clocks.

Connect with us.

Editorial: Cambrie Juarez, Ben McBee, Britt Thorson, Emily Shea, Jessalin Heins-Nagamoto, Dayten Rose, Sarah Leonhardt, Katie Smith | Send us a scoop, question, or feedback.

Sales: Alaina McIntyre | Advertise with us.

Content marked with an * was created in partnership with 6AM City’s advertising partners. Paid content helps keep this newsletter free. 6AM City may also receive a commission on purchases made through affiliate links in this newsletter.

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