After several hours toiling in the kitchen, the table is set. With the help of some reader input, we took a stab at answering this question:
“If Portland is the turkey of a Thanksgiving feast, then what side dish is each of its suburbs?”
Admittedly, we bit off more than we could chew in coming up with these comparisons, but all are prepared with a healthy dose of humor and lightheartedness — less David and more Alexis, for fellow “Schitt’s Creek” fans.
Beaverton — Stuffing
With a world-class performance arts venue and a flourishing culinary scene, this quintessential suburb has much of the flavor of its big city neighbor.
Vancouver — Gravy
It doesn’t take a stretch of the imagination to see the Columbia River as a delicious glob o’ gravy, and just think, if we didn’t have the bridge, we’d need a boat (eh?) to get across. Plus, it’s literally on top of everything.
Hillsboro — Green bean casserole
You probably only go there once or twice a year — maybe for a Hops game or Top Golf — but it’s usually worth it.
Tigard — Green salad
This southern suburb is home to plentiful green spaces and nature parks, and if you squint your eyes at the way I-5, the 217, and 99W come together on a map, the shape sort of resembles salad tongs.
Gresham — Cranberry sauce
Chances are you have strong opinions about this dish, but whether you take it or leave it, there’s something to be said about its fruity tang, lower cost of living, proximity to Mount Hood and the Gorge, etc.
Lake Oswego — Dessert
Do we have to say it? This one is… rich. But let’s all admit, if we could have a larger slice of their pie, we would. Speaking of... pumpkin or pecan?